its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
