I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
