i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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