just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
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I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
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But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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