so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
