i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
