Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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