How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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