So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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