I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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