I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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