Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
