if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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