Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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