one two three fourrrrnication!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
