It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
this boner is exhausting
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
