do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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