Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
