I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
