I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
There r osticjed everywhere
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
