everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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