OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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