Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
