So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize