Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i drank out of a bidet.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
