Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
