We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
