It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
