the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
