i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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