Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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