How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
