Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
