I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
