hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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