I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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