You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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