I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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