My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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