Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
