PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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