oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
