Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
