sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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