Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize