how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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