New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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