he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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