My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
