we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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