I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
