My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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