Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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