I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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