That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize