so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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