His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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