You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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