so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
