He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
