I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
