So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
