what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize